The Wisconsin State Engineer
April 1940

"The Trials and Tribulations of St. Pat on the Campus", by Nathan Itzkowitz, class of 1941"

'Tis indeed a far cry from the blarney banks of the Emerald Isle to the shady repasts of Lake Mendota, but when we consider that St. Pat (without a slide rule and log table) was a great and able engineer, is it strange that we appoint him our Patron Saint to rule over our Destinies? For verily, Patrick was an Engineer--not only did he invent the monkey wrench, devise the calculus, and survey the Pearly Gates, but he also rid Ireland of a ghastly and horrible curse...a dread evil known as the shyster... a specie of snake conspicuous on this campus by its oversized hat and toddling limbs...

The Engineers at the University of Wisconsin inaugrated the celebration of St. Pat in 1912 with a fitting demonstration... it was a beautiful day, and St. Pat, in all his glory, paraded thru the streets preceded by a 40-piece band and the ever-present snake...the blarney stone (the original, mind you) and the floats which included the famous monkey wrench, completed the procession.

'Tis not exactly known how it came about that antiquated omelets should find such a tender affinity for the regal figure of St. Pat, but it is rumored that during the parade of '22, a barrister in explaining the ancient adage "why does a chicken cross the street," to two of his equally dense associates, demonstrated the oint of his query with an animated gesture, and directed his missile with positive acceleration toward the then-approaching parade..the rest is history... the skies darkened and "everything under the sun" precipitated...

The 1923 parade was marked by a kidnapping, a libel suit, and a whole raft of editorials in the [Badger] Cardinal...but undaunted, the Engineers gave St. Pat the homage he deserved.

The lawyers crept back to their hovels and hibernated until 1925 when they emerged, armed to the gills with all sorts of odoriferous weapons of warfare...once again the gentry of Madison witnessed a "rain of terror"... 'twas a gory day indeed, but when the yolk of battle had cleared, the Engineers had triumphantly subdued the albuminous lawyers...

In 1926, the rival factions kissed and made up, and the parades of '27, '28, and '29 were unnotable affairs...the parade was dropped in 1930...Hostilities increased with renewed vigor in 1933... [t]hen to climax the chain of events, the parade of '38 was tops for downright rowdyism...State Street was littered, the Engineering building was inundated; the State Street Merchants protested violently... and finally, the powers that e put a damper on the exuberancy of the participants.

Accordingly, a truce was declared, and in '39 a peaceful parade was held. "Except for a brief skirmish at Langdon Hall, where the Amazons therein tried to torment the muscle-bound Engineers by tossing bags of water, the parade followed a peaceful course..."

In 1940, the University replaced the parade with the Engineers' Exposition.